This is the response I wish I’d received today:

Dear Prospective Author,

Thank you SO MUCH for that amazing query letter! It was so beautifully written, I was blown away. In fact, I think I will speak with my many powerful publishing contacts about publishing your query itself, it was that good.

You know what? Let’s take it one step further: I’m going to represent your novel, based solely on that brilliant, erudite, utterly inspired query letter! You don’t even have to send me a partial. I believe in this project so much that I will waive my regular fees and take you on for free. I’m in awe of your talent.

Sincerely,

[Name of Agent of Your Dreams]

This is the response I actually received, paraphrased to protect the innocent, one single hour after I sent the query:

No.

Sigh.

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